Dancing Etiquette

I cannot fathom the female mind. Ordinarily I'd offer some throwaway diatribe insulting the x-chromosome wholesale, but it doesn't seem fair to criticize so many for what's been perpetrated by a few members of that race. But whatever, I digress.

What I mean to say is: you suck at communicating. At least on the casual dance floor.

It seems like there's a strict set of rules for the casual dance floor (none of which I understand) that women can conjure up on a whim and dispose of just as quickly. So I'm dancing too far away? Too close? Not at all? (We know, you think all men want sex from all women all the time. Which isn't far from the truth.) But goddammit, you really need to start giving us an opportunity to get shut down. Because the reality is, you've got a hard-on for being as unapproachable as possible and it's really bringing me down.

This pretty much encapsulates the three different levels of existence on the dance floor. You've got the couples dancing by themselves and having fun, the lonely guys going around looking for some companionship, and the awful reality of women trying to act as unaffectedly as possible. Presumably huddled together for warmth, these girls will not offer guys an opportunity to buy them a drink, get their number, or (God forbid) actually dance with them. And do you know why?

Let me know, because I sure don't.

I think Peter Griffin said it best. Just replace "Lindsay Lohan" with "unaffected female" and "beer" with "beer" and you'll pretty much understand what I'm saying:



Chivalry is dead, I suppose.